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    10 facts you should know about adoption

    MANILA, Philippines -- One of the things topping the list of things Filipinos love and cherish most is family. Our definition of family extends well beyond the usual boundaries of marriage and having children. We have established familial ties with friends, neighbors, even co-workers. Knowing this, we can form a family through many ways, one of which is through adoption.

    Adoption is defined as a socio-legal process of providing a permanent family to a child whose parents have voluntarily or involuntarily relinquished parental authority over the child. Abandoned and neglected children benefit the most from adoption.

    "It is the duty of each Filipino to ensure that each Filipino child is cared for properly," said Dr. Stella Guerrero-Manalo, M.D., Child Protection Network Associate Director and Conference and Scientific Chair of Ako Para sa Bata (I Am For The Child) Manila Conference. "Instead of debating about the RH Bill, Filipinos should commit to caring for the existing abandoned and neglected children rather than "potential" children i.e. children not even conceived. Resources should be channeled to promoting adoption and foster care."

    Nowadays, adoption is quickly becoming a more popular and accepted option in forming a family, thanks in part to the help of Hollywood celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Sandra Bullock, and Madonna. While interest in adoption is on the rise, there are still many myths surrounding it. Here are ten facts you should know about adoption:

    1. Many birthparents who relinquished their child for adoption did not abandon their children but rather made a sacrifice to give their children a better life.

    2. The adoption process is composed of 3 important groups of individuals: the individuals who are adopted, adoptive parents, and the birth parents.

    3. Local adoption can be coursed through the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD), Kaisahang Buhay Foundation (KBF) or Norfil Foundation, Inc.

    4. International adoption goes through Inter-Country Adoption Board (ICAB).

    5. Individuals who are adopted need to know about their adoptive status as early as possible.

    6. There is no significant difference in the psychological functioning between individuals who were adopted and those who were not adopted.

    7. Adoption and foster care are much better alternatives for abandoned and neglected children. Young children are best nurtured in a family environment with a consistent caregiver rather than in an institution because it ensures better future cognitive and socio-emotional functioning.

    8. The Adopted Child Syndrome (formerly used to explain the behavior problems of adopted children such as lying, stealing, attachment problems, defiance in authority and the likes) has been debunked by more recent studies such as Smit, 2001. It is not the adoption status that leads to behavioral and attitudinal problems but rather the child's feeling of being accepted or rejected by his or her family

    9. Kinship adoption, wherein a child is adopted by a relative of either the birth parents, is a common practice in the country.

    10. Simulated birth, a term used when adoptive parents register someone else's child as their own, is not a legal process of adoption and is not encouraged.

    The process of adoption, challenges in current practices and experiences will be among the many issues discussed during the upcoming Ako Para Sa Bata (I Am For The Child) Manila Conference to be held at the SMX Convention Center, Mall of Asia Complex, Manila from December 5 - 7, 2011. Organized by the Child Protection Network Foundation (CPN), the three-day conference with the theme "Creating Safe and Caring Environments for Children" will tackle a wide range of topics including: media, sex and violence; proper media guidelines for children; family values in children; preventing child neglect and child endangerment; safety of children on the road, in public place and in organizations; caring homes; parent education; non-violence in the school; and safety in the field, in court or at home.

    Interested delegates and sponsors may contact the Conference Secretariat, Child Protection Network Foundation c/o Ms. Tere Clemente at Tel. No. (632) 404-3954; Fax No: (632) 404-3955; or email manilacanconference@yahoo.com. You may also contact the Event Manager, Global-Link MP Events International Inc. c/o Ms. Melissa David at Tel. Nos.: (632) 750-8588 to 92 / 887-1304; Fax Nos.: (632) 750-8585/ 844-2882 or email manilaconference@globallinkmp.com for more information.

    "At the end of the day, it should not matter if a child one brings into your family is your biological or adopted child as all children are from God and are just entrusted to our care for such a short time on this earth. What should matter is for the child to grow up in a safe and loving environment so they can develop into the best they can be. It is his/her well-being that should always be the number one concern," concluded Dr. Manalo.

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    39 comments

    • mick  •  6 months ago
      People in the Philippines have way too many kids. So many people there are poor, but it doesnt stop them from having big families. The Catholic church has people brainwashed into not using condoms, or the pill. The population there is well over 90 million people. Instead of making more babies that you cant afford to feed, practise some restraint, FAMILY PLANNING
      • Kyle 6 months ago
        True. We've been talking one of our maids into giving up one of her children for adoption after his separated husband refused to take care of one of her two current children. Her situation is pretty dire. She told us she already lost a child to sickness and that her children are currently living with her parents and siblings. The bad part is that her parents have TB and every time she comes back from her day-off, she has cough. Worse even, her siblings don't want to work and she tries to keep her family alive with the money she earns working for us. We've already extended help to her by giving her medicine and getting her to the hospital to be checked up now and then, but it's really impossible for her. It's inappropriate to simply raise her salary (even if we already did out of pity, in addition to her frequent advances in salary, often on a weekly basis) more and more as money won't solve her problems with her child. We suggested she put one of her children up for adoption, but she was mum about it, understandably so. But given her situation, it would be sad to see her children perish. It's scary thinking of having children living with people with TB. I believe it is selfish for them to keep their children if they can't even keep them alive, let alone live a good one. At least, for the children's sake, give them to more able people -- specifically those who are unlucky to be unable to birth one.

        I still don't understand why these people, especially those in poverty, keep making babies when they know they can't keep them alive. All they're doing is bringing more people into a life of hardship and needless suffering.
      • mick 6 months ago
        They have more kids in order to perpatuate their family name. They dont consider the hardship another mouth to feed will cause. I know all about this cause I married a Filipina, and have been to the country a couple of times. Its a sad fact that those in jepordy will multyply faster. As for your story about your maid, it is a all too familiar and sad situation. Try to bless her however you can. I collect recycle cans and bottles to feed kids there. IT WORKS
    • Naga  •  6 months ago
      I found this research true. They hid the fact na hindi ko tunay na tatay yung akala kong tatay ko. Although sinasabi nila sakin na tatay ko yun pero di ko maramdaman yung mutual feeling na binibigay nya sa mga kapatid ko(Tunay nyang anak). I was an honor student when i was young dahil gusto ko sila na maging proud sakin kaso iba talaga yung reaction nila kahit 1st honor pa ako kesa sa reaction nila nung nagbabasa yung kapatid ko nang libro na nabubulol pa pero tuwang tuwa sya. So nakita ko yung attachment through my friends and sa compute game so i learn how to steal and lie para makapaglaro at makasama mga kaibigan ko. Then pag dating nang highschool inisip ko na maybe pag naging basketball varsity ako maging proud dad ko so ayun tigil sa bad habits then focused sa basketball then naging varsity etc kaso wala parin. So college came nagpa drop lang ako nang nagpa drop.. Nagka girlfriend where i found importance then got her pregnant by accident then nadulas yung kapatid ko at nasabi sakin na my dad isn't my dad. So yeah everything made sense to me. So payo lang sana sa mga balak mag adopt. Tell them early, minsan kasi kahit sabihin mong mamahalin mo yung adopted child mo darating rin sa point na di mo mabibigay yung talagang dapat na pinararamdam nang tunay na magulang. So its better for them to know at least they'd understand why.
      • Naga 6 months ago
        I just found out 7 months ago. 21 na ako so its kinda too late na.. DI ko rin po sure kung kelan yung right time pero mas maganda na mas maaga malaman and in a very sweet way. There's no easy way po para sa ganyang bagay pero im sure kahit magkaron man nang awkward time between you and your child darating rin ang panahon na ma realize nya na she should be thankful na merong taong nagmamahal sakanya. Mas magandang sainyo nya malaman yun kesa sa iba pa nya marinig kasi mas masakit yun. 1 month rin akong di makatulog nang maayos and was blaming them kung bakit nag loko ako pero at the end na realize ko na they did try their best to make me feel happy and its enough for me. Kung kaibigan nga eh naituturing pang minsan na mas matimbang kesa sa kapatid kahit di mo kadugo, eh ang bata pa kaya na sayo lumaki at pinadama mong mahal mo sya. Goodluck nalang po and God bless we need more people like you and your husband. :D
      • Dutsei 6 months ago
        Both your story is very touching. But maybe I can share my story to help with Heavensent's decision.
        My Mom is my real Mom pero my Dad is my stepdad. I have always known this and when we were young my brother and sister would tease me about it. My Dad has never shown unfairness to us. And I believe he loves us all the same which lead me to think that maybe if I had never known I would be happier.
        I think the best time to find out is when the child is 18 years old or 21 because at least they're already adults and can decide what they want to do next. But it also depends on how the child is treated. Kung tulad kay Naga then maybe it's better to know as soon as possible pero kung the adopted parents are fair then it's better to wait until they are old enough.
        My dalawa din ako pinsan na adopted and their parents waited until they were 18 to tell them and by that time they didn't care about it anymore kasi they were treated fairly and was loved. It's different for each situation pero kung pantay ang pagmamahal sa mga bata, tunay man na anak o hindi, then it doesn't really matter.
      • Julia 6 months ago
        na touch ako sa stories nyo. God Bless. :)
    • Rico  •  6 months ago
      my adopted son is polite,respectful,sweet and loving son, he knew he was adopted but he has no ill feelings against his biological parents, he often see his parents and openly expressed his love for them.
    • lee2  •  6 months ago
      better tell the child na adopted sya at an early age. i have a friend na nag-adopt ng bata and she told the boy an adopted sya at masaya ang boy kasi dami daw syang parents di tulad natin. they boy is now in college at very good naman sya at as usual proud sya kasi dami nga daw syang parents, madami ang nag-aasikaso sa kanya
      • star 6 months ago
        buti pa sya.. kainggit! sana adopted nalang ako..
      • Mars 6 months ago
        Star has a tendency to commit suicide.... have faith dear....
    • Kotong Lord  •  6 months ago
      buti pa kayo me nagmamahal na magulang...adopted man o hindi
      yan ang importante

      kadugo mo nga - baboy naman @@@
      naku !!! fotang nang yan

      hindi na lang 'no

      bihira sa mundo ang tao na inu-una yung pangangailangan mo, ikakabuti mo
      at sa advantages mo....forget the labels.....tatay, friend, swweetheart, nanay, kaibigan, niniong, ninang, kapit bahay

      yung label is not important - its the deeds..yung pagkatao

      and the only thing can do is respond to then with kindness, DB?

      LOVERBOY LUC
      sobrang malas sa magulang
      • Hunter 6 months ago
        so sad to know...
      • star 6 months ago
        true.. napakahirap ng batang dumaan sa balahura at sakim na magulang... ay! balahura.. abnoy.. sakim.. sadistang magulang.. kahit kadugo mo pa..
      • star 6 months ago
        iwi-wish mo talagang di ka nalang ipinanganak kung suffering lang aabutin mo sa kamay nila.. haist! sad .. :(
    • lerma edradan  •  6 months ago
      Having a Lot of children."If they have a lot of money its not a matter, But if they belong to a Poor, its a big Matter!" Sobrang Nagpapaluko at paniniwala sa church or pagiging catholic kaya iyan ang kinalalabasan dami ng anak sa bandang huli ipapaampon dahil di kayang bigyan ng kinabukasan..
    • Jack  •  6 months ago
      I am married to a filipino and when I lost my job she wanted a divorce . So dont tell me about how good a wife from the philippines are.. All that mattered to her was that I sent money.
      • mick 6 months ago
        Im married to one also, glad I dont have that problem.
      • Janet 6 months ago
        well, i guess you met her online and all of a sudden you wanted to marry her. it goes to everybody i guess your relationship is not that solid, blame your relationship not the race.
      • ♒ ⚓ ⎈ ☠ 6 months ago
        Nothing but gold diggers, lot of them.
    • Leila  •  6 months ago
      Walang kinalaman ang Catholic church sa dami ng mga anak ng mga pinoy. May sariling pag-iisip ang mga pinoy. Ang problema po wala po silang pambili ng condom at pills o baka tinatamad silang bumili? baka gusto mong mag-donate? Karamihan sa mga pinoy mahihirap, ibig sabihin hindi sila nakapag-aral o nakapag-tapos, ibig sabihin wala silang alam sa family planning, baka gusto mong pumunta sa pinas para turuan mo sila? Huwag sana nating sisihin ang simbahang katoliko dahil hindi lang naman yan ang pinag-uugatan ng napakaraming populasyon.
    • sage  •  6 months ago
      My cancer illing wife adopted a baby boy more than 3 yrs. ago. I begged the mother to stay with my wife and the baby and continue her studies because I think my wife will not last 5 yrs. anyway I will continue to provide them eventhough my wife die cuz I will not go back home while working in Japan but she has so many alibis not to help take care of the baby, In short she left. After several days, maybe upon realizing the importance of my unselfish offer she came back but I told my wife not to accept her anymore cuz I sensed that she has no real love of the child. Now my wife is bed ridden already but I continue to encourage her to live because of the child. I am so much worried now who will take care and give real motherly love to the child when she is gone. You know this biological mother is one of the example of so many irresponsible people that is why this world become hard to live. I have no other child beside this adopted son but Im not thinking to marry another woman after the death of my wife cuz i am afraid other women will not love the child the way my wife does. I will just go back home and take care of him the rest of my life.
    • glenn  •  6 months ago
      ??
    • Speedy-D  •  6 months ago
      Let me add one more thing you should know about adoption;

      Natural parents who give up their children did not think things through before they had sex OR they did not use contraceptives.

      I have no pity for parents giving up their children. If they really do are about their childrens welfare; they should have done something to prevent themselves from conceiving since they are already know beforehand that they cannot support a child.
    • Locust  •  6 months ago
      "1. Many birthparents who relinquished their child for adoption did not abandon their children but rather made a sacrifice to give their children a better life."

      And when the child becomes a beautiful teenager (regardless of gender) enjoying a great and comfortable life with foster parents, lalabas ang tunay na mga magulang, still poor but earning (although minimum wage) upang kunin ang bata.

      Our society is so screwed.
    • sherry  •  6 months ago
      lol @ the related stories
    • Locust  •  6 months ago
      May kasabihang

      Yung first born child ang fruit of love

      Kung ganun, ano kaya ang importance ng pina-adopt na bata? fruit of a mistake?

      At mas mahal ba kung mag adopt ka sa ibang bansa? plano kong mag adopt someone from Korea in the near future.
    • skilled  •  6 months ago
      They give them up for adoption so they can have more babies.
    • ♒ ⚓ ⎈ ☠  •  6 months ago
      Tsk tsk tsk. Population control talaga ang kailangan. Ang masasabi ko lang dito... mahiya naman kayo, hoy!! Adaption adaption kayo d'yan... e kung nagkocondom nalang ba eh at nagpafamily planning e di sana wala kayo ngayong problema! Ano bang balak n'yo, talunin ang China at India sa paramihan ng populasyon? Anakan ng anakan mga wala naman naitutulong sa society.
    • Charlito  •  6 months ago
      My live in partner is a free lance reflexology, massage therapist! But when she heard that we already have started some business in Mindanao, she rushed to fly down here and lived with me - she left her daughters in Manila with the care giver! She was so persistent and begged me to get her pregnant right away and she told me if I really love her, then I granted her request to not take the pills! I told her I was not ready for such responsibility since our business transaction was yet unclear. But she really cried for that since she told me she love me very much and she don't want to get pregnant later as she was getting older and afraid to get pregnant at her late 30's

      So, I was in a complete quandary and finally granted her! Unfortunately, after 2 years in Gold mining operation, the business did not flourished for many reasons - And finally the foreign investor suddenly decide to stop after spending 500.M pesos in Gold mining venture since a lot of thieves in the mines that almost killed me since I did not follow their organized crime - Of course I had to protect my investor!

      I could not blame the investor either that he suddenly stopped since there are many people around who intrigued him against me! And finally he hired someone from Manila who is a Master in Business Administration and they had to reorganize the gold mining and processing plant under the new management! And the result is still the same and even worst!
    • A Yahoo! User  •  6 months ago
      mas mganda kung my ksamang SEXY mommy ung adapt n baby :) hehehe
    • tok  •  6 months ago
      Go on passing the kids around so long as they remain in the catholic faith. Zing!
    • Charlito  •  6 months ago
      Well, first of all, I want you all the readers that not all parents are irresponsible with unplanned pregnancy. Let me share you about my case, that I became irresponsible unintentionally and unexpectedly!

      I became a widower from my first wife who died of congenital heart disease she suffered for 53 years since she was born and died 4 years ago. Our status of living with my late wife was okay and even able to help my extended family financially and economically out of our income in Internet cafe business.

      When my late wife died, all of our properties and savings in the banks were withdrawn and I gave it to our only son who was a college at that time - I gave up all of our properties and relinquished in his name as I prefer to start again from zero.

      And I left our home with broken heart ed since I could not really exist the pain remembering my beloved late wife. I entrusted my son under the care of his aunt and grand mother. I only took few of my garments and 1 computer for me to be able to start my own living. I missed my late wife very badly even nowadays that I already have a very beautiful live in partner. There is really no replacement of your very dear and beloved wife truly as I cried always of missing her!
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