Striking the perfect balance in a relationship takes hard work and a lot of compromise. When it comes to finding time to hang out while still giving people the space they need, there are tons of compromises in relationships that we all should make. But how invested are both of you in the relationship? That shouldn’t be too hard to get on the same page about. Every relationship functions differently, but you should be on watch for signs that you’re more in love with your significant other than they are with you, because it can be a super crappy feeling and ultimately the thing that does your relationship in.
It feels like sh*t when you know that you have way more feels than your partner, but it’s something that happens to a lot of people. If you think that you have stronger emotions and just tend to wear your heart on your sleeve, it doesn’t mean that the whole relationship is totally doomed.
But it’s something you’ll want to notice and think about in order to see if it’s the kind of thing you can live with. You shouldn’t stay with someone who treats you like dirt when you treat them like damn royalty, but it’s entirely possible that your partner just has trouble showing you how they feel. Either way, noticing the problem is half the battle.
Here are some signs that you’re more in love with your partner than they are with you to look out for.
1. They don’t like talking about the future.
When you’re in love with someone, it’s hard not to fantasize about your future together. If you’re partner isn’t totally invested in the relationship, you might find that they ignore conversations about future plans or tend to disregard your dreams. They could also just be nervous about commitment, so would definitely be something you want to talk about.
2. They don’t give back.
There you are, all the time making romantic gestures, anticipating their needs, and generally just being the sweetest person ever. And they do basically nothing, at least by comparison to your effort. Like, really nothing at all to make you feel desired. Everyone has a different standard of romance, and some people just aren’t into showmanship with it comes to love. But if you find that even the little things — like listening to you talk about your day or remembering your birthday — come hard for your partner, it could be a sign that they just aren’t into it.
3. They won’t fix problems.
Relationships take work! So when two people are in love with each other and committed to the whole partnership, they don’t mind doing the tough work to fix problems or make things easier. If your partner acts like compromising or talking things out with you is useless or way harder than it actually is, you might have to sit down and figure out what’s up.
4. They don’t get personal.
Finding out personal details about your S.O. shouldn’t be that hard. It’s totally fair for people to take their time when opening up to you or skip certain topics altogether, but personal stories or meeting their family and friends should happen eventually — especially if you’ve given them a lot of your story, too.
5. You take the lead on everything.
If you find that you’re the one who starts The Talk to define your relationship or are always the first one to say, “I love you” or something, you might just be better at tackling relationship milestones than they are. Or you might be laying it on a little thicker than they’d like.
6. You don’t feel totally relaxed.
It’s hard to settle into a relationship, especially when you’ve been burned in the past. But you know when something feels good, right? If you don’t feel secure in your relationship or are always wondering where you stand, there’s probably a reason. Hopefully you two can work it out so that you get the kind of love that you deserve.