Billie Eilish says she would "rather die" than not have children

·2 min read

20-year-old Billie Eilish has opened up about her desire to one day become a mother, revealing that she would "rather die" than not have children.

Speaking to The Sunday Times, the singer-songwriter revealed that she has always wanted to be a mother and replied, "I need them", when asked if she wants to have kids in the future. Yet, despite parenthood being a lifelong goal, she says that she "dreads" some elements of having children.

"The older I get, the more I experience things, I just think, 'uuggh, what am I going to do when my kid thinks that this is the right thing to do and I’m, like, no, it’s not!' And they won’t listen to me," she said, pointing out that it's a "scary" time to be young in America right now – particularly in the aftermath of the most recent school shooting in Texas, which claimed the lives of 19 children and two teachers.

"Why is it OK to be scared to go to school?" she asks, throwing her arms up in exasperation as she references the ongoing backlash over America's gun laws. "You go to school and be prepared for a life-changing traumatic experience or dying. What? Who? Where is the logic there?"

Photo credit: ANGELA WEISS - Getty Images
Photo credit: ANGELA WEISS - Getty Images

Being an anxious child is something that Billie can relate to, recalling that she slept in her parents' bed until the age of 11 due to a fear of the dark, among other things. "I had crippling, life-changing separation anxiety, I couldn’t be away from my parents," the 20-year-old revealed. "I was worried about what would happen to them, I was worried about what would happen to me, I was worried about being forgotten."

"I couldn’t sleep by myself," she added. "If I woke up and my parents weren’t in the bed and the lights were off, I would scream until they came to the door. And I couldn’t step off the bed in the dark because I was certain that there were scorpions crawling all over the floor."

Issues with sleep have carried on into her adulthood, and Billie describes sleep as "a serious form of torture", pointing out that she experiences sleep paralysis and that for a period of time in 2018, "every dream was a terrible nightmare".

For information, support and advice about mental health and where to get support, visit Mind’s website at or call Mind’s Infoline on 0300 123 3393 (Monday to Friday, 9.00am to 6.00pm).

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