Bride's 'transparent' letter to her bridesmaids divides TikTok: 'I felt very insecure'

·2 min read

A bride is going viral on TikTok for a list she gave her bridesmaids — but not for the reason you might think.

Weddings and wedding planning can sometimes bring out a different side of the person you thought you knew. Recently, one person on Reddit shared an “insane” list of demands a bride sent out for her bridesmaids. On TikTok, a groom caught flack for checking his phone while his future wife was walking down the aisle. 

In this instance, however, the bride handed out a list of expectations for her bridesmaids, with an option for the girls to opt out if they couldn’t commit to the time or financial aspects of being in the bridal party.

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User @lisalovesrandom, who goes by Lisa Torres, explained in a video that she had been a bridesmaid multiple times before she got engaged, so she knew about all of the costs and expectations associated with the role. In case some of her friends weren’t aware of what being a bridesmaid entailed, she sent out “transparency letters” in her bridesmaid proposal boxes.

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“In the letter, I outlined time commitments,” Torres said. “I told them if they lived over an hour away, they didn’t have to worry about making it to the bridal shower or to go wedding dress shopping with me.”

At first, Torres was nervous to include the letter.

“I felt very insecure doing this, but I’m ultimately glad that I did,” she said.

Torres concluded in the video that one of the women she asked did ultimately decide to not be a bridesmaid, and Torres didn’t take it personally at all.

The video has since racked up over 4 million views.

“I was so scared that it would seem like a bridezilla move,” Torres added in the comments.

“Not at all,” a commenter replied. “This is such a smart idea.”

Others seemed unaware of the costs of being in someone’s wedding.

“I thought it was the bride’s job to pay for all of that since it’s HER celebration?” one said.

“If you are asking people to be in your wedding, you should be paying for it,” another said. “It’s tacky.”

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