Lim: Brain fog

·3 min read

My brain’s been foggy lately. Or I wonder if I’m being forgetful. Maybe, it’s been longer than lately. You know, with age, every memory is actually far back longer than I think.

I wonder if I got Covid and didn’t know. There has to be a reason for this fogginess. I swear if I didn’t run, my brain would be foggier.

I guess it’s not meant to be. I’m not going to be a super ager with super powers, after all. I guess I will have to accept that I will retire an ordinary mortal. The cape will have to go, soon. But it’s been a good run. No regrets.

Not that I’m done. But I did all that I wanted to do. And if I get the chance, I will do more.

And for the things that I didn’t get to do? Did I really want to do them? A soothsayer once said these wise words to me. And that stopped me in my tracks.

I’ve been told that when I put my mind on something, it has no chance of escaping from me. But that’s a little bit hard for me to believe. Now.

Some things are definitely harder to do. But I try not to make foolish choices like wear super high platform wedges like I used to. I’ve tipped over twice in those. And I was much more agile, then.

I cannot afford to fall now. Besides, do I really want to face ER personnel and explain how it happened? I don’t want to be lectured by millennials about my foolish choices at this advanced age.

So, sneakers and slides are my thing now. The pandemic cemented my fashion choices. I now wear athleisure for all activities. These days, feeling comfortable in my clothes and in my skin is more important than being on trend.

But let’s get back to my foggy brain. Is it a sign of the times? Or is it a sign of my age? I think I need to spend more time by the beach mulling about this. Or perhaps, I need to take a vacation from mulling too much.

I have a brain that is both a blessing and a curse. It works well enough and sometimes, too well, in fact. It works overtime all the time. A vacation from making decisions wouldn’t be so bad.

You see, while being a decision-maker can be empowering, taking a vacation from making decisions is also liberating. Thinking can take a toll on the overworked brain.

But it’s only a vacation I seek, not retirement. I don’t want to permanently abdicate from decision-making. I only want a respite. One chill weekend, once in a while, will do.

As I’ve reached this line, I wonder if I can conclude that my brain is actually not that foggy, after all. It’s definitely working. But I wish it could forget less things.

Maybe I just need to pace myself. Maybe, I didn’t get Covid, after all, and not know it. Maybe, it’s just the Power Beats Pro firing up my hearing impairment issues and causing me brain fog.

Or maybe it’s just plain old age. But just to be sure, maybe I’ll get a brain scan one of these days.

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