Former Love Island contestant, Jessica Hayes (who won the first season of the show), has shared the heartbreaking news that she has suffered a miscarriage 19 weeks into her pregnancy. She bravely posted about the experience on Instagram and said she and her fiancé, Dan Lawey, had named their second child together, a little boy, Teddy.
Telling her 363,000 followers the devastating news, Jessica posted a picture of a cuddly bear, a name tag and foot and handprints from her much-loved son. "To Our little Teddy, I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe for a little while longer," she wrote. "I’m sorry I couldn’t take you home. I’m sorry we had to say goodbye this way, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were strong but my body wasn’t."
Speaking about the emotional impact the loss has had, Jessica said, "The pain is unbearable and I feel like I’m drowning in grief. My mind spinning, thinking of all the what ifs and questions of who you would of grown up to be. When will I wake up from this awful nightmare? I look at the clock and count the hours of how old you are, time is moving but your not here your not getting older it’s not fair."
She also candidly shared that she feels "empty" whenever she looks at her stomach. "I wish I could [have] stared at your beautiful face a little while longer and held you in my arms forever. I look down at my empty stomach where you should still be growing safely and I feel so empty without you there."
Jessica and Dan have a one-year-old together named Presley, who Jessica says in her post would have "loved you, his little brother so much". The reality star added that she was still grateful for the experience of carrying Teddy. "I’m grateful that we shared 19 weeks together and I carried you for as long as I could before it was your time to gain your wings... You will always be our beautiful son and I promise you will hold the biggest place in our hearts forever my sweet angel."
She signed off the deeply sad post with: "Until we meet again my Teddy. Too special for this world. I love you now, forever and always. Your mummy, Daddy and big brother Presley."
Our thoughts are with Jessica, Dan, Presley and their loved ones at this incredibly difficult time.
If you're looking for support or more information about premature births, stillbirths or miscarriage, Tommy's have a free helpline 0800 0147 800 (open 9 - 5, Monday to Friday). There's also a Facebook group.
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