He asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum for advice. After a wedding planning session, his fiancee asked him if he was OK with her being a “stay-at-home wife.” At first, he thought she was joking. When he realized she wasn’t, he became furious at the thought of being the sole breadwinner.
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“I am engaged to who I feel is ‘the one.’ We had been dating for just over three years, and I proposed last month,” he explained. “After another session of wedding planning, my fiancee asked if I would be alright with her being a stay-at-home wife. At first, I laughed because I thought she was joking. She told me not to laugh and said she wants to be a stay-at-home wife. I asked her why, as we both make pretty good money at our jobs, and we can’t afford our current lifestyle with just one income. She says it’s because I make a lot more than her, and we could scale back our lifestyle. She said, ‘it’s been on my mind a lot. I think working nine to five just isn’t for me.'”
He tried to understand his fiancee’s request, but she just became more defensive about it.
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“I said that I’m not comfortable with that idea and said maybe if we have kids, she could be a stay-at-home mom,” he wrote. “But I’m not cool with her being a stay-at-home wife. And she said that I was being ‘manipulative’ since we’re both child-free. That devolved into a pretty heated argument, with her saying that I should ‘support her dreams’ (she never stated what she wants to do with her staying at home, even though I did ask). In the heat of the moment, I said, ‘where is this coming from, why is it your dream to be a stay-at-home wife? Is it your dream to be lazy?’ She got really upset at that and [went] to her mother’s. I want a partner in life, not a dependant doing nothing productive with their days.”
Reddit users questioned the fiancee’s intentions.
“Dude, I think you’ve been played,” one user said.
“If you and your partner are not on the same page, you aren’t compatible,” another wrote.
“Do not marry this woman,” someone commented.
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