Moises: How can I tell if my officemate likes me?

·4 min read

I: Hi, Singlestalk. I work as a teller in a bank. I’m the girl-next-door type. Likeable and attractive. There are just 10 of us in the branch. One of them is a guy who I really like. His license must have already been suspended for driving a lot of girls crazy! Neat, hunky and really smart. Quite a number of times I caught him looking at me. He also greets me good morning every time he’d pass by my cubicle. Do you think he loves me? Can you share some signs that a cute guy like him loves a pretty girl like me?

DJ: Love? Right away? Can we start with just like? The best sign is this—he’ll tell you. Well, some of us over-complicate stuff or send mixed signals. But most of the time, mixed signals still means he’s not interested. You also mentioned he’s smart. He must like you then. Why? Opposites attract!

Seriously, there are many possibilities why he’s looking toward you aside from your lovely face. He’s checking out the teller seated next to you or he’s looking at the time on a wall clock behind you. We’re said to be a little bit more physical than women. So, when a guy tries to touch you even when it isn’t necessary, you can take this with finesse that it’s likely that he likes you. Of course, you already know the difference between a nudge and something sneaky. Unfortunately, there are men you should never give a free hand to. He’ll run it all over you. A good touch shows he cares. On the other hand, a bad touch is the kind you don’t like and would want it to stop right away.

Remembering snippets of what you previously shared is another telltale sign. Like your hopes and dreams, what makes you laugh or cry, or the first gift you got from your mom. We all meet several people at the same time every single day. We can’t keep up with every important detail straight year-to-date. But if a guy likes you, he makes it a point to remember details of what you talked about because he’s actively listening and wanting to get to know you better. And he looks for your reaction when you’re in a group and he makes a comment or a joke. He’s seeking your approval or is trying to impress you.

A guy also likes you when he makes the effort to talk to you. You said he greets you good morning whenever he’d pass by your cubicle. Uh-huh. What if it’s afternoon? Mm-hmm. Or does he avoid your cubicle when it’s no longer morning? Uh-uh. We do not exert effort when it comes to matters that we are not personally invested in. This goes for the subjects we study back at the university to cleaning the condo unit. So, when we really like a woman, we’re intentional. There are a few who hit and run just to get some ego boost from a lady’s interest. But when we like a lady, most of us sustain a conversation instead of just initiating it.

What about his messages? Is he engaging or wanting to know more? If he is merely responding to your every sentence that ends with a question mark, chances are he’s just courteous.

You can sense this, too, whenever he’d mention stuff like wanting to have lunch together. There’s a difference between “Hey, we should have lunch one day” compared to “Hey, when can we have lunch?” When we want to see a person, guys usually don’t want to leave it ambiguous. You’re like a very important passage in a textbook. Seeing you is the highlight of his day. Guys make time. Why would we wait for weeks just to ask a lady out and risk that she has other plans lined up?

Finally, we’re natural problem solvers. If your officemate is quick to offer a solution every time you want more information regarding something at work, for example, he is paying attention and is going the extra mile. But if he doesn’t respond at all when you’re in trouble—both real and imagined—check his cup of care. Oh, look, it’s empty.

I see you are a strong woman. You mentioned you’re the girl-next-door type, likeable and attractive. Beauty, however, is in the eye of the beholder and it’s not necessary to give a potentially misinformed beholder a black eye. Chill. Don’t be too caught up with this dude. It’s common for us to scan the market hoping that something sticks. Just know your worth. And consider the tax, too!

Our goal is to create a safe and engaging place for users to connect over interests and passions. In order to improve our community experience, we are temporarily suspending article commenting