Some things in life are so splendid that computers can’t recreate them: Prince’s version of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps,” Golden Retriever puppies, that time George W. Bush dodged a shoe, San Diego sunsets, mozzarella sticks, Scarlett Johansson, my brain and, apparently, Michael Jordan’s tongue.
You may remember MJ’s tongue from such classic moments as this dunk against the Indiana Pacers:
Well, the fine folks at NBA 2K18 thought it important to include Jordan’s tongue in one of the most lifelike video games you’ll find, only when they unveiled this iconic wrinkle, well, see for yourself:
It appears someone ripped Jordan’s tongue out of his mouth, ran into a blender, let a pack of Pamplona bulls stampede over it and inserted it back into his mouth. Either that, or his tongue morphed into his bottom lip, and the two combined to make some sort of taffy-like substance:
Some gamers, namely YouTube user iTzRease, took issue with his Airness’s imperfection, and the good people of 2K felt the glitch worthy of another try, issuing a patch for users to update Jordan’s tongue.
And when you run the update, the tongue admittedly does look a whole lot more like a tongue, except for the fact that it is protruding through Jordan’s lower lip in a manner that would have been even more horrifying for a defender than seeing a prime MJ flying through the lane in your direction:
This has been a lot of tongue talk. But, like the time the 2K developers couldn’t figure out how to account for the ridiculousness of Stephen Curry’s jumper without making him an even more unfair version of himself, it’s also been a nice reminder that the singularity is still at least a few years away.
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