Palmares-Moises: ‘BL’ in a time of pandemic

Michelle Palmares, Darwin Moises
·3 min read

M: Jessie is in love with his best friend, Janus. They’re now in their early 20s and have been best friends since second year at the university. Is this the right time to express it? Or should he wait after the pandemic? We don’t know when this pandemic will end so I guess, it’s now or never. What is stopping him from declaring his love and affection?

DJ: Cliché as it sounds, but among the best things that can happen to a person is to be able to give out love and to allow it to come in. Pandemic or not. But this is not always as simple as the way things go in movies when the lead character would tell the love of his life his feelings and then find out she feels the same way too, then they would kiss—usually in the rain. A platonic relationship, however, can turn into a great romance. The situation is quite tricky though. They’re with the same sex. I will not suggest for Jessie to sit with his feelings for a while. Seems like he already did. Is it intense? Were the usual boundaries already crossed? They’ve been best friends since college. Are they going out exclusively? Do they prioritize each other? Nothing is certain really. Just probabilities which we learned in statistics class. If the likelihood is high, I suggest he take the risk and just say it.

M: I think there is no best time to declare one’s love especially if we think of what’s happening today. We never know what tomorrow will bring or if tomorrow will come. So best to do today what can be done today. Don’t delay, especially in showing and giving love. Life is so uncertain. If we have the chance to show our love, express our gratitude or do an act of kindness. Do not delay.

DJ: They’ve been friends for a long time. He should be able to read his moods. He can take a step back and assess whether or not the friendship has developed into more of a romance. Both love and friendship involve commitment and intimacy. The differentiator is physical attraction. It makes the butterfly in someone’s stomach go wild. Is he seeing that Janus demonstrates certain actions that support this? Whatever his answers are, I believe I mentioned a few weeks ago that expressing one’s love is fine if the intent is to be honest. Not necessarily for love to be reciprocated.

M: Christmas is said to be a season of love. Let’s give love not only on Christmas day but every day. We never know that our act of love can change a person’s life or make a difference. Don’t be afraid to show or share your love. It might be the best gift you will give and receive this year.

DJ: When things go right, falling in love with someone’s best friend can be magical. I am not here to judge about anyone’s preference. Real love is rich, pure and self-sacrificing. To experience something like that is priceless. And I wish Jessie, and Janus, the best for the holiday season and even beyond.