Michelle: Bea is asking for some beauty tips, not for herself but for her boyfriend. I wondered if her boyfriend is gay, but Bea assured us that he is not. She said she can tell, and says we “know what she means.” I am not so sure what she “means,” but if it means that if he can get his instrument to work beautifully to satisfy her, then he must be a man. Bea’s actually bothered by him using too much foundation and lip tint. She claims to be a strong, tough, independent woman and her boyfriend’s look is a sharp contrast to that. Maybe she can tell him to use a CC cream and lip balm instead?
DJ: Bea describes herself as a strong, tough, independent woman. Why can’t she just bravely tell him to take them off—at night so he won’t have pimples? But seriously, what is the foundation for? Is it to cover a birthmark or a scar? And what’s the lip tint for? She can ask. If they make him feel better about himself, they really can’t hurt anyone. Unless if it’s she who is insecure. And she’s entitled to her feelings and thoughts, too. I suggest she bring this topic up in their next conversation. The bright side of it is, at least, she’s got a boyfriend who isn’t boxed or is only limiting himself to male-centric expression.
M: I am a bit baffled why Bea’s boyfriend uses foundation and lip tint to the point that Bea would be concerned about him putting on too much. Maybe he looks too white? Or maybe the color of his face doesn’t match his neck and it makes his skin tone uneven? Does he have bad skin that he needs to use a foundation or concealer? I think it would be good for Bea to tell her boyfriend to consult a dermatologist as he might need more than cosmetics to improve his skin or remove blemishes. And why put lip tint too? Are his lips too pale because he also puts foundation there or too dark because he used to smoke? It’s a bit unnerving to kiss a guy who has the same lipstick shade as you.
DJ: Come to think of it, pants were once frowned upon on women in the past. The world is evolving. Clothing or skincare is no longer attached to just one gender. It’s likely for a human being to want to enhance his or her physical appearance. It’s just personal taste and it’s totally normal. Reading through her email, I have the impression that she’s the type of woman who goes for gender equality. And if my notion is right, perhaps, she has to recognize that what she’s advocating for works the other way around, too. Besides, people are usually supportive of someone they care for. We don’t put them in a box but instead encourage them to grow, to be who they are.
M: More than the concern about cosmetic use, Bea should talk with her boyfriend about what bothers her and ask him what may also concern him that he uses cosmetics (usually a woman’s staple to look good and feel good). Is he just a metrosexual? Or someone who feels so comfortable with his masculinity that he doesn’t mind using cosmetics to enhance his good looks. Or maybe he just wants to be like my Oppas Hyun Bin, Lee Min Ho and Park Hyung-sik? Those K-stars can get away with it because they’re actors or celebrities. Bea’s boyfriend can also get away with it, for as long as he doesn’t put on too much or if can manage to make his makeup look as natural as possible.
DJ: Well if Bea thinks women can do what men can do, perhaps she can stay consistent with the principle by allowing her boyfriend to do what women can do? I guess that’s part of being a strong, tough, independent woman she describes herself to be. Isn’t it about wanting a partner instead of needing a partner? Besides, he’s still her boyfriend. And part of every dating relationship is to assess one’s readiness—ability and willingness—to accept his or her partner’s choices. Ultimately, it’s still Bea’s choice to tell him and how, to continue on with the relationship or not. Makeup? Make it up? Or breakup?