Palmares-Moises: Missed Universe

·4 min read

M: Andrea is in a relationship with a guy for about three months now. He came back to their province to work from home. They’re getting along so well. He is not only her world but her universe. But there are persistent rumors that he is actually married and the wife is working overseas. Just this weekend, she was able to confirm that it’s true. Now she’s devastated. Andrea, I know you are devastated but you should count yourself lucky! This is what I would call a blessing in disguise. Go ahead, be devastated for now but strive to move out of that condition sooner than later. Don’t wait for the time when his wife will find out about her husband’s illicit relationship with you and make you trending “a la Julia” or wait when her husband will soon be a ghost (figuratively) when he will just stop talking to you.

DJ: Her boyfriend did not tell her about a very important detail in his life. How can someone entering in a relationship conveniently forget to share this? And because his wife is in a far galaxy and is most likely unaware of Andrea’s existence, one lucky dude just hit the jackpot! Without turning her situation into a melodrama starring herself and her boyfriend in a series, I suggest that she gather enough strength, take control and not let this run longer than “Ang Probinsyano.” Untangle herself from such a complex web. Close this chapter. Not with an exclamation mark or even a comma but with a period.

M: It is despicable when a guy cheats on his spouse. Sadder, if the woman he is involved with knows that he is married but still goes on with the illicit relationship. In your case, you thought he was single so you cannot be faulted if you entered into a relationship with him. That is good faith. But now that you know he is married, it would be in bad faith if you keep on seeing him and thinking that he is the one. He is not the one because he just made you his number two! It is painful to find out that you have been lied to. But you know the truth. Don’t keep on living with a lie or believing in his lies. Make a clean break and make it fast. The longer you hold on, the harder it is to let go.

DJ: It’s likely for her to have difficulty keeping her voice’s tone, pitch and volume under control when the day of reckoning comes but composure is key. Regardless of how her boyfriend will react, focus. Why? Because this is her only window of opportunity to close this matter once and for all. If there’s anything she needs to say, that will be the moment. She will move forward from there — no U-turn. Not even through Messenger or SMS. It is an unsettling situation to be in. And this isn’t even just about morals or values. Something has to take priority over mere emotions or attachments — her wellbeing.

M: Yes, love has reasons of its own that reason itself does not know. But you cannot reasonably expect that nobody will find out about you and your married boyfriend. Things like this unravel pretty fast and rumors spread like wildfire, especially on the internet. Get a grip of yourself. Get out of the fire before you get burned. They say knowledge is power. You know he is married so you better use your head to get your heart out of a still early relationship that is doomed to fail. It will fail because it is not based on the truth. It will not last because he has a first, you are the second and for sure, there will be others who may or may not be the last. So you wasted three months. So what! Better than wasting away always being number two to the one who isn’t worth it.

DJ: Studies show a married man rarely leaves his wife or family for a mistress. And if he can do this to his wife, what’s the probability that he won’t do this to her? Reading through her email, Andrea seems to be a smart, accomplished and a beautiful person. I think playing first runner-up for the rest of her life is not something she deserves.

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