Palmares & Moises: Valentino

Michelle Palmares - Darwin Moises

MICHELLE: It’s almost Valentine’s Day and Valentino is asking for dating tips. He has not been dating for almost 20 years. So Valentino, ask yourself why you want to date. Is it because you feel you have to because all your friends are getting engaged or married? Or is it because you feel that you’re ready to get into a serious relationship with the woman who has the essentials and preferences that you have in mind?

DJ: He’s asking for tips, Mic. He deserves an answer. Feeling a little fidgety is normal. But if he’s learned enough lessons to be Mr. Right, he can live up to this very basic rule of thumb: Be yourself. Sure, regular bathing, brushing of teeth and mental and emotional stability are like minimal requirements. Perfection, however, is not. Showing just his best foot is close to impossible to sustain over time. Of course, that doesn’t mean throwing etiquette to the wind. Opening the door as she walks through, staying on the danger side when walking or crossing the street or offering his arm when she steps down the stairs are still in fashion.

M: Dating is good as it allows you to meet people that you might have something in common and develop a relationship with. It’s fun. And I agree that it’s so exhausting if you’re always putting your best foot forward to try to attract or score a second date with your date. But if you haven’t dated in while, it doesn’t mean that you’re missing out on life. Dating someone does not make a dull life vibrant and it is not the answer to one’s existential anguish.

DJ: It also helps if he stays within the range of topics that are light and easy. Valentino can start by asking her about her passion. Spot what they have in common and start from there. Mine for information, particularly if she’s got a social media account. But keep things real. Besides, people date to assess their suitability to live together moving forward. Starting it as himself, definitely, is not just a cliché.

M: Not dating doesn’t mean you will be single forever. Many serial daters are still single. Some never settle down. You can discover happiness and joy in many ways and moments with family and friends. Let’s not be suckered in the lie that we won’t be “complete” without someone else. Date someone when you want to date them, not when you just want to date. Enjoy it when you do it, and until then, enjoy it when you aren’t dating yet or if you don’t date.

DJ: I know of couples who met while standing in line in Jollibee or while in a GrabShare. Love can happen anytime, anywhere. There is a world out there. Valentino will just have go out, be confident about who he is and be open to possibilities!