The Pinoy Soap Opera, Bow…

I used to be a teleserye addict. I was a fan of almost all Judy Ann Santos and Claudine Barretto soap operas (kaya siguro madrama ako dati!). Things changed when I got into the busy world of show business (wow, lakas maka-artista ng statement!).

I now seldom find the time to watch soap operas. Then again, the "addict" that I was, I would still try once in a while to catch them whenever I can. Doing so led me to a realization: I may have changed my TV viewing habit but the soap operas have not actually changed their storylines (oops...)!

I have listed some of the top Pinoy soap opera storylines. See if you'll agree with me.

• Storyline #1: "Ang nawawalang anak"

I noticed that more than half of our soap operas deal with a lost child or an adopted kid (pag walang nawawalang bata, walang soap opera!).

• Storyline #2: "Ang dating mahirap, mayaman na ngayon"

Rags-to-riches stories usually sell well with the Pinoy audience (feel na feel nila pag naghihiganti na ang api-apihang bida!).

• Storyline #3: "Ang wig ni lola"

Wig makers are in whenever a soap opera has a flashback scene or if a character comes back after an absence from the story (pero pansin ko lang, bakit kadalasan di bagay ang wig sa mga characters? At halata talagang wig ha.).

• Storyline #4: "Ang buhay na bangkay"

If a character dies in a soap opera, some viewers would say: "Ay, baka buhay pa yan." True enough, ang patay na noon, bubuhayin at bubuhayin pa rin ngayon.

• Storyline #5: "Ang pagsabog ng bomba"

If a soap opera wants a major scene, expect a major explosion (kung hindi sa kotse, bus o barko, malamang sa kasalan yan!).

• Storyline #6: "Ang kidnapping"

If the network announces that a particular soap opera ends in two weeks' time, expect a kidnapping scene on its last week (habulan, barilan, patayan!). And, their favorite location for the final scene: Ang bodega, bow.

I know that it is not easy to build a story for every teleserye. I just hope there will be more creative storylines in the future. The Pinoy audience deserves something new, something fresh (kung maka-new at fresh naman ako!).

• • •

I really don't know how to react to a major tabloid story recently linking me to my "Artista Academy Breaktime" co-host Valeen Montenegro especially that the article mentioned that I got her pregnant (my goodness! End of the world na ba ito?!). This is definitely not true. Valeen is like my "kumare," sometimes even like my little sister (and siguro naman maliwanag kung ano ang pagkatao ko!).

We do go out after tapings or on our free time because we are super friends (may superlative pa ha!) but it is not true that we went to a hospital for her pre-natal checkup (hilarious!).

I remember saying in an interview that I want my own child. Yes, that's very true - but surely not with my good friend Valeen (happy siya sa boyfriend niya!). So, let me set the record straight: She's not pregnant (makabili na nga ng matris, para magka-baby ako! Chos!).

• • •

WTFu showbiz extra:

• The sudden end of GMA-7's "The Coffee Prince."

- Di pa nga umiinit yung kape, pack up na?!

• Zoren Legaspi has raised the standards in making marriage proposals.

- Malalaos ang mga lalaking di mapapantayan ang gimik niya kay Carmina!

• "Wil Time Bigtime" is reportedly transferring to an earlier timeslot next year.

- Gaano kaaga na? Mabubulaga ba ang mga tao? Afraid!

• Is it true that the Alabang Housewives of the "Amazing Race Philippines" will be having their own show soon?

- Taray. Makapag-asawa na nga rin ng mayaman!

• Katherine Luna says: "Nagpa-ligate na po ako."

- Ay, buti naman. Naka-lima ka na 'te. Quota ka na!

(Mr. FU hosts his own radio show on 103.5 WOWFM, 8 a.m., Mon.-Fri. and TV5. Twitter: @mrfu_mayganon)

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