Popular megachurch pastor and mental health advocate Jarrid Wilson has died by suicide.
His wife Juli Wilson broke the news to her followers by sharing a video of her “sweet husband” playing with their son.
Jarrid — a pastor at the Harvest Christian Fellowship Church in California — was 30.
Juli explained that the video — taken on Monday — is the last memory she has of Jarrid as he died that same night.
“Can’t sleep, so I’m watching this video over and over again,” Juli wrote on Tuesday. “I took this Monday evening around 7:30 p.m. at our son’s baseball practice. By 11:45 that night, my sweet husband was in the presence of Jesus.”
“I love you, Jarrid. I miss you beyond what my heart can stand. Thank you for loving our boys and I with the greatest passion and selflessness I’ve ever seen or felt in my entire life,” Juli continued.
“I’d do anything for a hug from you right now. I keep hearing on repeat what you told me all day every single day, ‘Gosh I frieking (how he always spelled it) love you,'” Juli wrote.
“Longing to be with you, longing to make you proud. The boys and I miss you so much. I frieking love you too. So much more than you could ever know. Wish I could tell you that right now. We all do,” she concluded.
In a separate post, Juli shared a slideshow of photos of Jarrid smiling widely as he fished, hiked and spent time with his children.
While Juli remains devastated over her husband’s death, she wrote that Jarrid is no longer in “pain.”
“No more struggle. You are made complete and you are finally free. Suicide and depression fed you the worst lies, but you knew the truth of Jesus and I know you’re by his side right this very second.”
Juli went on to share that “suicide doesn’t get the last word.”
“I won’t let it. You always said, ‘Hope gets the last word. Jesus gets the last word.’ Your life’s work has led thousands to the feet of Jesus and your boldness to tell others about your struggle with anxiety and depression has helped so many other people feel like they weren’t alone.”
“YOU WERE an ANTHEM OF HOPE to everyone, baby, and I’ll do my best to continue your legacy of love until my last breath.”
In his last Twitter post, shared hours before his death, the father of two wrote, “Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure suicidal thoughts. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure depression. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure PTSD. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure anxiety. But that doesn’t mean Jesus doesn’t offer us companionship and comfort.”
“He ALWAYS does that,” Jarrid added.
Prior to his death, Jarrid made it his mission to help those struggling with depression and mental illness.
In 2016, Jarrid founded Anthem of Hope, a Christian organization dedicated to “amplifying hope for those battling brokenness, depression, anxiety, self-harm, addiction and suicide.”
Harvest Christian Fellowship has since released a statement mourning Jarrid’s death on their website.
“It is with the deepest sadness and shock that I have to report that Jarrid Wilson went to be with the Lord last night,” Senior Pastor Greg Laurie wrote. “At a time like this, there are just no words.”
“The Bible says, ‘There is a time to mourn.’ This is certainly that time.”
“Jarrid is survived by his wife Juli, his two sons, Finch and Denham, his mother, father, and siblings. Jarrid loved the Lord and had a servant’s heart. He was vibrant, positive, and was always serving and helping others.”
“Jarrid also repeatedly dealt with depression and was very open about his ongoing struggles. He wanted to especially help those who were dealing with suicidal thoughts,” Laurie wrote.
“Tragically, Jarrid took his own life.”
“Sometimes people may think that as pastors or spiritual leaders we are somehow above the pain and struggles of everyday people. We are the ones who are supposed to have all the answers. But we do not.”
“At times like this, we must remember that as Christians, we do not live on explanations but on promises. We fall back on what we do know, not on what we don’t know. We do know that Jarrid put his faith in Jesus Christ and we also know that he is in Heaven now,” Laurie concluded.
A GoFundMe has been created in hopes of raising funds for his family. The page has raised over $49,000.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “home” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.